


We Lost Ourselves In the Bright Lights

by justyrae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Drunken Shenanigans, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Minor Violence, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2525354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's supposed to be the happiest day of Liam's life actually turns his whole world upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Lost Ourselves In the Bright Lights

**Author's Note:**

> extra special super big thanks to A for always being around to talk plot with me. Dunno what I would've done without you <3
> 
> I FINALLY WROTE A NIAM-CENTRIC FIC LONGER THAN A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS YAY ME!
> 
> title from 'Jamie All Over' by Mayday Parade

It's not like it was the first time Liam had been in Vegas. It wasn't even the first time he'd performed there; his tour the year before had a date in Vegas, although it had been at a much smaller club that had been barely half-full at the time.

But this was different; this was the iHeartRadio Music Festival and Liam couldn't believe he was there, let alone performing. When he first heard the news, Liam had nearly had a panic attack - he'd never imagined in a million years that he'd be offered the opportunity to do something like this.

His manager, Paul, had said to expect it - he'd been saying things like this nonstop since Liam's collaboration with Sam Smith had hit the charts and skyrocketed to the top. Despite what Paul said, it was all a shock to Liam. He could still remember exactly what Sam had said to him the first day they'd met, for he'd repeated it on the day Liam called him freaking out over the news.

"Told you, you're gonna be the next big thing."

"Shut it," Liam replied, already blushing madly. "I'm nothing compared to you."

"That's sweet," Sam said with a laugh. "Just wait til we're both in Las Vegas, yeah? It'll be mad."

"Can't wait."

Liam was absolutely positive he'd never been more nervous in his life than he was waiting to go onstage to perform with Sam. It wasn't the performance that he was nervous about, per se; they'd practiced it over a hundred times and Liam knew it would be incredible. The real problem was he'd made the mistake of reading a gossip site a few hours before he'd left the hotel for the venue, and what had been written had been haunting him ever since.

He should've expected it - much like his spike in popularity - it was only a matter of time before the media started spreading rumors that Liam and Sam were a couple. It was obviously impossible for two gay men in the music industry to work together and _not_ be sleeping together.

The very idea irritated Liam to no end; he had nothing against Sam - he absolutely adored him - but this had nothing to do with Liam's feelings towards him. This was about the media needing to know every bloody detail of his life and Liam flat out not wanting them to.

Well, for the most part, anyway.

In all honesty, all he wanted was to shout to the world that he was happily taken and very much in love. But he couldn't. The news didn't solely belong to him, and there was nothing he could do about it until his boyfriend was ready.

At least Liam could take comfort in having his boyfriend with him on tour. He hadn't meant to fall in love with the lead guitarist in his touring band, but he'd never been happier.

"Nervous?" Liam stiffened for a moment as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, but he relaxed at the sound of Niall's voice in his ear. He turned his head towards Niall, brushing their cheeks together and smiling when Niall kissed him.

"Not anymore," Liam murmured.

"Liar." Niall grinned. "Proper shaking, you are."

"I am not." Liam sighed.

"Hey," Niall gently turned him around in his arms and cupped Liam's face with his hands, "you're not still thinking about--"

"No," Liam answered quickly, avoiding Niall's eye.

"Yeah, you are." Niall frowned. "You can't let it get to you like this, Li."

"M'trying not to." Liam kept looking down, his bottom lip falling into a pout. He felt stupid for letting the media and their stupid lies get to him this much, but he couldn't help it.

"I know," Niall said softly, stroking his thumb gently along Liam's cheekbone. "You know I--"

"I know," Liam interrupted. "I don't want to get into it now, alright?"

"Alright." Niall sighed in resignation and dropped his hands. Liam frowned and let out a soft whine as he grabbed Niall's hands.

"Don't be cross with me." Liam started swinging their hands back and forth and Niall couldn't help but crack a smile. "It's just not fair, is all."

"What's not?" Niall asked, though he suspected he already knew what Liam was going to say.

Liam took a deep breath, but upon looking into Niall's eyes he felt his frustration melt away. There was no use in starting an argument over something that hardly mattered, anyway.

"Doesn't matter," he said, putting on a smile. "More important things to think about, yeah?"

Liam could tell by the look in Niall's eyes that this topic wasn't going away forever, but he was going to let it go for the time being. Niall smiled at him, stepping close to press a quick kiss to his lips.

"You should be warming up," Niall mumbled softly.

"Yeah," Liam replied. "See you out there?"

"I'll be the one with the guitar," Niall replied, his smile brightening.

*

Once Liam was onstage, his nerves melted away. The sound of the crowd screaming at the tops of their lungs filled his heart with joy, and he nearly missed his cue because he was so overwhelmed by it. He looked over at Sam as he entered the stage from the other side - eliciting even more screams - and they couldn't help but smile broadly at one another as they performed.

"What d'you say to celebrating?" Liam said, hooking his arm around Sam's shoulder once they were offstage. "Think we deserve it!"

"Yeah?" Sam replied with a grin. "What d'you have in mind?"

"Dunno," Liam said sheepishly. "Last time I was here I spent most of the night in my hotel room."

Sam quirked an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh really?"

"Sod off," Liam mumbled with a roll of his eyes. "I just—"

"Am I interrupting?" Niall sidled up to the two of them and grinned. "Look at you two, all cozy. Is there something I should know?"

"M'running off with Liam," Sam responded, attempting to keep a straight face but finding himself unable to do so. He ended up doubled over with laughter at the look on Niall's face, especially when Liam turned bright red.

"Well," Niall said with an incredulous look, "glad I found out this way rather than from the Daily Mail."

"He's _kidding_ , Niall." Liam elbowed Sam in the ribs, who immediately pulled away from Liam and ducked behind Niall.

"Should've picked me," Niall said with a grin. Sam nodded and Liam rolled his eyes again, huffing loudly.

"I don't like the way this night is going."

"You're just jealous that Sam wants to run off with me now 'stead of you."

" _Nobody's_ running off with _anybody_ ," Liam said as he pulled Niall away from Sam. "Unless it's me and you."

Niall raised an eyebrow. "Do you know something I don't?"

"No," Liam muttered as he pressed a kiss against Niall's cheek. "Just saying."

"Big softie," Niall mumbled with a smile.

"Alright, lovebirds," Sam said as he rolled his eyes at the pair of them, "thought we were going out."

"We are?" Niall perked up. "Who said?" He turned his head towards Liam with an over-the-top surprised look on his face. "It couldn't have been you!"

"Christ," Liam muttered. "You're the worst."

Sam rolled his eyes again as Niall protested Liam's words and nuzzled his face into Liam's neck. After a few minutes of awkwardly waiting around for the two of them to stop being a lovey-dovey couple, Sam grabbed both of their arms and started to haul them towards the exit.

"At this rate, it'll be morning before the two of you are done with this nonsense!" he called as they stumbled after him.

If Liam had any doubts that this night had already blown his previous trip to Vegas out of the water, they had completely disappeared after the fourth round of drinks. It may have had something to do with the ridiculous amount of alcohol he'd imbibed in under an hour, but it was more likely that Liam's good mood was brought on by the fact that the club they were in didn't allow cameras of any kind. This meant that Liam and Niall could - quite literally - be all over each other without worrying about a thing.

The issue with this, as it turned out, was that the more alcohol they drank, the less inhibited they both became. Which, in turn, led to a lot of awkward moments for Sam.

"Would you _please_ keep your hands where I can see them?!" he shrieked, swatting wildly at the both of them as Niall - once again - climbed onto Liam's lap.

"Can't help meself!" Niall shouted before pressing Liam back against the booth and sealing their mouths together.

"Christ," Sam muttered as he downed the remainder of his drink. "M'going for more," he said, getting to his feet and landing one last smack to the side of Niall's head.

"Hey!"

"And maybe I'll find someone else to hang out with! Someone _not_ fucking in their booth!" he called before disappearing into the crowd.

Niall turned back to Liam, grinning as he saw the lustful look in Liam's eyes even through the haze brought on by the alcohol. He moaned - possibly too loud for anywhere other than a noisy club - as Liam reached his hands into Niall's back pockets and grabbed what he found there.

"Watch it, you," he grunted into Liam's ear as he rocked his hips forward, "might give a bloke the wrong idea."

"Maybe it's the _right_ idea." Liam pulled Niall flush against him, moaning in return as Niall twisted his hands in his hair. Niall let out a breathy chuckle, grinding his hips against Liam's once more before he slid to the side. Liam made a noise of disapproval and tried to pull Niall back, but Niall reached towards the table to grab their drinks instead.

"Think maybe you need to cool yourself down."

Liam raised an eyebrow as he looked at Niall over the top of his glass. "Trying to get me drunk, Nialler?"

"You're already drunk, Li." Niall cackled loudly. "There's no more tryin' necessary."

"M'not," Liam protested. He hiccupped, then giggled and added, "alright, maybe I am."

"You are," Niall agreed as he tilted his head back against the booth, smiling widely as he stared dreamily at Liam. "You're amazing."

"So're you," Liam said, struggling to put his drink back on the table so he could grab Niall's hand. "You--"

"No," Niall protested, nearly dropping his own glass as he clasped Liam's hand back. "You. This whole night, no, this whole _weekend_ is about you, Liam Payne."

"Niall," Liam murmured, turning red at the sound of Niall's words.

"It's true," Niall said as he pressed his forehead against Liam's. "Liam Amazing Payne."

"Niall Drunk Horan." Liam chuckled and Niall gasped.

"How'd you know my middle name?"

Liam burst into giggles and buried his head into the crook of Niall's neck, loving the way he could both hear and feel Niall's laughter. He rubbed his nose against Niall's skin and pressed his lips against the same spot before lifting his head and tilting it upwards.

"I love you," he whispered, nearly lost in the dim of the club but by the way Niall's eyes lit up Liam knew he'd heard.

"I love you too," Niall whispered back before cupping Liam's face and kissing him. Liam grinned into the kiss, feeling even more intoxicated than before.

If anything, that was to blame for what happened next.

*

By the time Niall and Liam made it back to the hotel, it was nearly five in the morning. They weren't quite as drunk as they had been earlier in the night, but they were still very happy to be together. It was a miracle that they managed to keep their hands to themselves until they reached the elevator, and an even bigger one that there were no paparazzi around.

Niall pinned Liam against the wall of the elevator, groaning _I love you's_ into his skin as he sucked marks into his neck. Liam returned the sentiment as best he could through moans of his own and his roaming hands all over Niall's body.

But once they were inside their hotel room, all bets were off.

"I love you," Niall groaned as Liam pushed him back against the door. Even though he'd said it a hundred times since the club, the sound of those three words still made Liam's heart soar.

"I love you," Liam replied between gasps of air as he started peeling Niall's jacket off. "Love kissing you," he said once the jacket fell to the floor, capturing Niall's lips immediately after.

Just as it had in the club (and the various cabs they took around Vegas _plus_ in the elevator), their kiss turned obscene in seconds after Niall opened his mouth. He moaned when Liam sucked on his tongue, and whimpered when Liam bit down on his bottom lip. Liam pulled away soon after and Niall's eyes flew open with a desperate look.

"I love your taste," Liam went on as he started kissing down Niall's neck, pausing where it met his shoulder to sink his teeth into the skin and make Niall shudder.

"Liam," he cried wantonly, his voice heavy with breaths as he clawed at Liam's back in an effort to get closer. He frantically pushed Liam's jacket off of his shoulders and started ripping his dress shirt open, laughing breathlessly when buttons flew everywhere. Liam groaned happily in Niall's ear as he pushed his hips forward, relieving the pressure he'd been feeling all night.

"Love when you say my name."

Liam let go of Niall to drop his hands down to unbuckle Niall's belt and unzip his trousers, pushing them down as quickly as he could. He palmed Niall's erection through his pants, eliciting a louder moan that went straight to his own dick.

"What about you, Niall?" he asked in a low, gravelly voice as he slowly dropped to his knees. "Know you love to make noise, what else?"

"I-- oh, _fuck_ , Liam--" Niall gasped as Liam started to mouth at his cock through the thin fabric of his pants, creating an even larger wet spot around the head from where he'd been leaking for what felt like ages.

"Tell me," Liam asked again as he dipped his fingers below the waistband of Niall's pants, pulling them down teasingly slow until his cock was in full view. Liam wasted no time in wrapping his mouth around the head and moaning around it like he'd been waiting for it all his life.

"Christ--" Niall groaned, "l-love your mouth, Liam, _fuck_ \--"

Liam hummed in response, taking more of Niall into his mouth as he gripped Niall's hips and forced him back against the door. Niall panted heavily as more curses spilled from his mouth, each one more desperate than the one before.

"Love w-what you do to me, oh, _Liam_ \--" Niall cried out as he came hard and fast down Liam's throat, grateful that Liam didn't let him fall to the floor when his legs turned to jelly.

Liam swallowed heavily as he got to his feet, hardly giving Niall a chance to catch his breath before he pressed their mouths together again. Niall clung to Liam's shoulders and moaned as he tasted himself; Liam smirked through the kiss when he felt Niall starting to get hard again already.

"What else?" he asked as he pulled away, resting his forehead against Niall's as they both panted heavily.

"Love your--" Niall paused to take a deep breath, letting out a soft chuckle before he continued, "your hands." He groaned as Liam pressed his fingers deep into the flesh of Niall's hips.

"Mmm, love touching you," Liam agreed as he pecked short kisses against Niall's lips, urging him to continue. He'd always loved that they both were so vocal, even with the number of drinks they'd both had.

"Your fingers," he breathed out as Liam reached his hands behind him to grab his arse. "God, they--" Niall's breath hitched when Liam slipped a dry finger between his cheeks to lightly press against his hole. "--fill me up. So good."

"Yeah?" Liam teased, tracing his finger lightly to make Niall start shaking. "What about my cock?"

"Fuck, yeah." Niall tried to grind back against Liam's finger, urging him to go further but Liam pulled away. "Love riding you," he grunted, dropping one hand from Liam's shoulder to cup his erection that was still restrained by his trousers.

"Yeah, Niall," Liam groaned. "Love watching you."

Liam stepped back from Niall, laughing a little when Niall stumbled forward to follow. He frowned at Liam and let out a huff as he crossed his arms. Liam smiled from his spot on the bed and crooked a finger towards Niall to get him to come over. A small smirk crept across Niall's face as he kicked his way out of his trousers and pulled his shirt over his head before he climbed on top of Liam's lap.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he whined softly as he practically tore Liam's shirt down his arms and threw it across the room.

"I know you love undressing me," Liam replied as he lightly brushed their lips together, just a tease compared to what he'd been doing before. Niall whined as Liam wrapped a hand loosely around Niall's cock and started stroking while he fought to unbutton Liam's trousers.

"Liam-" Niall continued to whine until he managed to get his hand underneath the waistband of Liam's trousers and pants. He groaned in frustration a moment later when he couldn't get his hand around Liam as well as he wanted to.

"Let me," Liam said as he gently pushed Niall off his lap so he could get out of his trousers. Niall crawled back onto his lap as soon as Liam's clothes hit the floor, then pushed Liam down onto the mattress as he crashed their lips back together.

Liam reached towards the side table to grab his bottle of lube and quickly slicked up his fingers before pressing one against Niall's hole again. Niall gasped as he arched his back and started grinding back against Liam's finger.

"C'mon, Li," Niall groaned. "I need--"

"What? Tell me," he murmured into Niall's ear as he started to push a second finger into Niall. He gasped again and gripped Liam's arm as he started panting, moving his hips faster in an effort to get Liam to move faster.

"Th-That," Niall groaned.

"Yeah? Love that, don't you?" Liam teased.

"I do, _fuck_ \--" Niall sucked in a sharp breath as Liam started to scissor his fingers. "So good-- want you to fill me up--"

"Yeah?" Liam moaned as he sat up just enough to bite at Niall's collarbone. "Love doing that."

"Liam, please," Niall begged. He cried out when Liam suddenly pulled his fingers away and replaced them with the slick head of his cock. Niall eagerly pushed back against it and they moaned together when Niall sank down all the way.

"That's it," Liam grunted, gripping Niall's hips so hard he was sure to leave marks. "Love you like this, Ni."

"C'mere," Niall moaned as he wrapped his hand around the back of Liam's neck to pull him up. Niall kissed him hungrily as he worked his hips as fast as he could, so eager to get Liam off. He could tell by the way Liam kissed him that he was already close, and all Niall wanted was to push him over the edge.

"Yeah, Niall-- fuck-- love this," Liam groaned loudly. "Love you--"

Niall smirked at Liam, but it quickly vanished when Liam wrapped his hand around Niall's cock again and started stroking him; just as desperate to get Niall off.

"Love you more," Niall said through gritted teeth before he let out a long, loud moan as he came all over Liam's chest. Liam buried his face in Niall's neck, not being able to hold back his own orgasm when Niall's whole body tensed up.

Liam could hardly concentrate on anything other than Niall; he felt like he was frozen in the moment and he wanted it to last forever. He peppered kisses across Niall's collarbone, smiling when Niall groaned softly and shivered.

"Cold?" Liam teased, tilting his head back and blinking a few times to clear his blurry vision.

"Maybe," Niall whispered as he looked down at Liam with a small smile. "Maybe we should clean up," he murmured as he trailed his left hand across Liam's chest, carefully avoiding the mess he'd made minutes before.

Liam chuckled as he caught Niall's hand in his own and brought it up to his lips. He caught Niall's eye just as he pressed a kiss to the shiny band on his ring finger, his face breaking into a wide smile as Niall stared down at him with wide eyes.

"Love you," Liam whispered.

"Love you too," Niall replied, chuckling as he added, " _husband_."

*

If there was such a thing as a perfect world, Liam would've been able to sleep in the following morning. Given that he and Niall hadn't managed to actually fall asleep until well after six in the morning - it had been _absolutely necessary_ to have another round in the shower - the fact that Liam's phone started ringing at just past ten was extremely unfortunate.

"Liam..." Niall whined as he buried his face into the pillow under his head. "Make it stop."

Liam groaned as he pulled himself away from Niall's warm body, rolling onto his back to reach for his phone. Much to Liam's dismay, it was not on the bedside table where it should have been.

"Too far," he grumbled, choosing to roll back over and press his face against Niall's neck. "Ignore it, it'll stop eventually."

"Okay," Niall said with a deep sigh as he snuggled back against Liam. "Quit poking me."

Liam grinned against Niall's neck and mumbled, "go back to sleep."

It probably would've worked, if it hadn't been for the fact that the hotel phone started ringing not two minutes later. Niall started whimpering into his pillow as Liam groaned again, throwing his arm out wildly to grab the phone off the hook and make the infernal ringing stop.

"Whoever this is better have a bloody good excuse for waking--"

Liam held his tongue as the voice on the other end of the line started speaking; Liam's heart suddenly rose into his throat and he could feel his heart pounding faster and faster as he listened. Niall rolled over and stared up at Liam with sleepy eyes, propping himself up on his elbow when he saw the petrified look on Liam's face.

"Li?" he said softly as he rubbed his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Liam turned towards Niall, his gaze catching the light reflecting from the silver band on Niall's left ring finger before he locked eyes with Niall. He searched for any shred of evidence of regret in the way Niall was looking at him, silently (and overwhelmingly) relieved when he didn't find any.

"Liam," Niall said in a stronger voice, "tell me."

Liam shook his head and turned away from Niall, murmuring a quick goodbye to the voice on the other end of the line before he hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. Then, in one swift movement, he whirled around and practically tackled Niall back onto the bed and held him tightly.

Niall let out a surprised laugh before trying to shift so he could wrap his arms around Liam as well. Liam pressed his face into Niall's neck, whispering "I'm sorry" over and over between kisses against Niall's sleep-warm skin. Niall hummed softly as he tried to soothe Liam by running his hands gently through Liam's hair, meanwhile Liam tried to get a grip on all the thoughts swirling around in his head.

Sure, he'd been thinking about taking the next step with Niall - though the next step in his mind would've been publicly coming out with the fact that they were dating, not getting married! As the events of the previous night (really the past few hours) came flooding back, Liam couldn't help but remember how unbelievably happy it had made him to say "I do."

He wasn't suddenly wallowing in regret; but the news on the phone from his manager had essentially stripped away any shred of a honeymoon phase and left Liam feeling nervous and panicky. Even just thinking of the term, _honeymoon phase_ , made Liam unbelievably upset that their happiness was not theirs to keep.

"Who was that on the phone?" Niall asked, his voice slightly muffled as he spoke more into Liam's hairline than the air around them.

"Paul," Liam answered slowly. "The media found out, and--"

"How?" Niall interrupted, slowly pulling Liam out of his hiding place so their eyes could meet. "I don't under--"

"I don't know. Paul said they have pictures, but--" Liam sighed heavily, "apparently they think me and Sam got married."

Niall stared at Liam for a moment before letting out a short, hysterical laugh.

"Well," he said, his mouth twitching in a way that Liam wasn't sure if it meant he was trying not to smile or cry, "that's good, then, innit?"

"How is that good?" Liam responded, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"No, I mean--" Niall sighed. "I love you, yeah? And, and obviously I wanted…" he trailed off as he looked down at his ring, twisting the metal around his finger once before continuing, "but you know that--"

"I know," Liam answered softly.

"I just--" Niall sighed again, this time the breath of air coming out more frustrated than before, "If me mum finds out, then me dad will find out. And if me dad finds out--" he paused, shaking his head as though he could just brush away all the bad thoughts and insecurities in one full swoop. "They can't find out this way. They _can't_."

"I know," Liam replied as he slowly inched forward to curl up in his previous position. "Still love me?"

"Oh, you idiot," Niall replied fondly. "Of course I still love you. Wouldn't have married you if I didn't love you."

"Would you have married me if we hadn't been drunk?"

"Mm, maybe not. But you're stuck with me now, aren't you?"

"No, _you're_ stuck with _me_ ," Liam replied as a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. Niall laughed as he nuzzled his face against Liam's, brushing their lips together for a moment.

"Yeah, there's no getting rid of Liam Payne."

*

As it turned out, the media had somehow managed to get pictures of Liam and Sam not only entering the club - Niall was _conveniently_ cropped out of the photos, which angered Liam to no end - but also exiting and drunkenly stumbling around the Vegas strip before finding a 24-hour wedding chapel. Niall tried to convince Liam to stay in bed with him and forget the world, but instead Liam spent most of the morning on the phone with his manager, Paul, trying to sort the whole mess out.

"I just don't understand," Liam whispered harshly as he shut himself up in the ensuite. "Why do they _always_ cut him out of the bloody photos?!"

"That's hardly the point here, Liam," Paul replied in an exhausted tone. "What you should be worried about right now is the fact that you got married in bloody Vegas."

"I know," Liam said with a heavy sigh. "It was stupid and irresponsible, Paul, but I don't regret it. You know I don't."

"I know. I just wish you'd had a bit more sense, Liam."

"Don't you always?" Liam laughed, but the sound was hollow and he knew that even his best attempts at a joke were just going to fall flat.

"You'd best call Sam," Paul continued, "get your stories straight and I'll get you and Niall on the first flight back home, yeah?"

"Yeah, alright." Liam sighed again. "Thanks, Paul. I know this is above your paygrade."

"Everything with you lot is above my paygrade," Paul replied with a chuckle. "It's a wonder you can afford me at all."

Liam shook his head as he hung up the phone, pausing for a moment to take a few deep, cleansing breaths before he dialed Sam's number.

"You're up surprisingly early for a newlywed," Sam greeted with a light chuckle. "Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise already."

"You could say that," Liam replied tiredly. "Have you heard?"

"Sadly, yes." Sam chuckled, but he sounded far less amused than he had moments before. "They just love to mangle everything, don't they?"

"It's complete bollocks," Liam grumbled. "They cut Niall out of every bloody picture they took."

"You can't let that get to you, love." Sam sighed. "It'll drive you mad."

"I feel like it already has." Liam groaned. "I'm so sorry, about all of this. If we hadn't--"

"Hey, don't even go there, alright? You know no matter what, I'm here for the both of you."

"Yeah, I know." Liam smiled and let out a soft laugh.

"How's Niall handling all of this, anyway?"

"He's curled up in bed." Liam ran his hand through his hair, gazing at himself in the mirror and suddenly wishing he was holding Niall. "He doesn't seem that upset, but..."

"I hardly think he expected his first full day as a husband to be anything like this," Sam remarked with a short laugh. "Go be with him, yeah? I'll wait to hear from you before I make a statement or anything."

"Cheers, Sam. Dunno what I'd do without you."

"Probably wouldn't have as much scandal in your life." Liam could hear Sam's grin through the phone and he rolled his eyes.

"Probably. Maybe I ought to drop you as a mate."

"You'd never. Niall wouldn't let you."

"True," Liam answered, smiling widely now. "Talk to you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah. Take care of yourself, and say hi to your husband for me."

"Will do." Liam tossed his phone on the counter next to the sink, replaying Sam's words _your husband_ in his head. It was still surreal to wrap his head around the fact that he and Niall were married, but in a good way.

He just hoped this whole mess would blow over and he and Niall wouldn't have to hide anymore. It had been his dream for some time now, and he couldn't help but hope that maybe this was the push Niall needed to come clean to his family about who he really was.

But for right now, Liam didn't want to think about any of that. As he exited the ensuite and saw Niall bundled up under the covers, all he wanted to do was cuddle up next to him and try and hold onto the hope that everything was going to be okay.

*

Getting tickets on the next flight back to the UK was significantly easier than Liam had originally expected it would be. Within a few hours, he and Niall were packing up and trying their best to prepare themselves to face the onslaught of reporters that were apparently swarming the hotel. Paul had already done his best to arrange for a discreet ride to the airport, but Liam had a sinking feeling that they weren't going to get away scot-free.

Somehow, they managed to get out of the hotel without getting cameras shoved in their faces, but the same couldn't be said for when they arrived at the airport. Within seconds, Liam was practically blinded by the flashes going off from the multitude of cameras around him.

Paul had already pulled Niall through the crowd - Liam was always adamant about getting him out of these sorts of messes first, what with his claustrophobia - but unfortunately this meant Liam had a bit of a tough time making his way through the gauntlet.

"Liam! Liam! Is it true?!"

"Did you and Sam really tie the knot?!"

"Are you planning a big wedding for after his tour?"

"What do your parents think about all this?"

"It's not true," Liam said through gritted teeth. His mind was screaming at him to stay quiet; to keep to what Paul had told him to say, " _no comment._ " But instead, here he was, trying to make them understand.

"What d'you mean, it's not true?" Another flash went off in his face.

"We've got pictures!"

"You two sure looked cozy!"

"I didn't marry Sam!" Liam snapped, suddenly seeing nothing but red. "I was never dating him!"

Liam could hardly hear a thing over the sound of his blood pumping in his ears. Voices all around him were still shouting out questions, but he didn't want to hear any of it. He just wanted to set the record straight.

"Sam's not my bloody husband, Niall is!"

There was a moment - a split second - where everything went quiet. Liam looked up just long enough to see that both Niall and Paul had stopped and turned their heads back to look at him, and Liam realized what he'd said.

He'd just ruined everything.

"Niall? Niall!" he yelled, furiously trying to push his way through the rest of the crowd as Niall disappeared into the airport. Paul waited at the door to get Liam through, but even he didn't look pleased.

Paul at least waited until they'd gotten away from the doors to round on Liam and smack him upside the head.

"Have you lost your mind?!"

"I didn't-- I just-- Where'd he go?" Liam groaned as he whipped his head around to try and locate where Niall had run off to. He needed to explain himself; he needed to tell Niall that he was sorry, that he was going to fix it.

Liam just needed the chance.

*

Liam didn't find Niall until the both of them had passed through the security line. Paul had refused to be any help whatsoever - despite Liam desperately trying to remind him that he worked for _him_ and not Niall but at the same time not blaming Paul one bit for switching his loyalty - and when Liam didn't locate Niall at the gate for their flight to London, he began roaming around the international terminal doing everything short of shouting Niall's name.

He almost given up looking entirely when he spotted Niall sitting alone in a row of chairs facing the set of windows looking onto the tarmac. He was clutching his phone tightly in one hand while the other was pressed against his face, covering his eyes as his shoulders shook with the effort to keep from sobbing. Liam approached him hesitantly, wanting nothing more than to throw his arms around Niall and wrap him up in a hug until he was laughing again.

Instead, Liam slowly lowered himself into the seat next to Niall and sat quietly until Niall acknowledged his presence. Liam's hands were itching to reach out to him; to touch any part of his body and just let him know how sorry he was for what he'd done. The last thing Liam had ever wanted to do was to hurt Niall, and now here he was wishing he could take it all back.

"They know," Niall croaked out with a harsh breath, sniffing loudly as he wiped his eyes. Liam swallowed thickly, hardly trusting his voice to work in this state.

"They know?" he repeated softly.

"Me mum and dad," Niall snapped. He was refusing to look in Liam's direction; he kept his eyes focused on the ugly airport carpet in front of him, busying his hands with snapping the edge of the case around his phone so roughly that it was sure to break any moment.

Liam stayed quiet, afraid that anything he said could make the situation worse. Still, he scrambled to come up with the right words because he was also scared that his silence would only add to Niall's anger.

"I remember when they found out about you," Niall said with a dark laugh. "Me dad said, 'don't go letting him fill your head with his g--'"

Niall's voice cracked as he stopped himself from crying, burying his face in his hands again. Liam couldn't help it any longer; he reached over the armrest between them to wrap his arms around Niall's shoulders and pull him close. It lasted for half a second before Niall was pushing him away, furiously rubbing at his eyes again.

"Me mum cried," he went on. "I could hardly understand her, she was crying so hard."

"Niall--"

"And me dad," Niall said as he ignored Liam and let out another humorless laugh, "me dad was so angry he wouldn't even speak to me. But I could hear him shouting at the top of his lungs."

"Ni--"

"Greg was there. With Denise and baby Theo." Niall's hands started shaking as he talked about his brother and his family. Liam desperately wanted to take them into his own, but he stayed still. He knew Niall would only pull away again, and for all Liam knew he'd take off again.

"They shouldn't have to hear that," Niall muttered. "Theo shouldn't have to hear that his uncle's a--"

He bit down on his lip hard and squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling a shaky breath as Liam blinked back tears of his own. He hated seeing Niall like this, knowing full well that there was nothing he could do about it.

Niall had always just brushed off his family's homophobia as not that bad; chalking it up to Catholicism and years of prejudice against something they just didn't understand. Liam had never pressed the subject - even when he wanted to - but seeing it affect Niall this much just made anger boil in Liam's veins.

Sure, it was his fault that Niall's family had found out this way. But they had no right to treat Niall like this; to make him think that he was any less of a person because of his sexuality. It drove Liam mad, having to see the product of their irrational hatred and knowing he couldn't do a damn thing to change their minds.

"I have to go home," Niall mumbled a few minutes later after he'd composed himself. Liam inched closer, daring to reach out and brush his fingers against Niall's knee.

"We're going home. It'll be okay." He gently squeezed Niall's knee, watching as Niall's eyes fell to his hand before he pushed it away.

"No," Niall answered. "Not London. I have to go home. To Ireland."

"But--" Liam stammered. "What--"

"I have to make this right."

"How-- Niall, you don't--"

"I _have_ to," Niall repeated firmly. "I have to fix it."

"Fix what?" Liam asked, his voice turning sharper as his anger started to take over. "Fix _yourself_? You think there's something _wrong_ with who you are?"

"I didn't say that--"

"That's what it sounds like," Liam interrupted. "For all I know, you're going to go home and your parents are, I don't know, going to send you to one of those--"

"Don't, Li."

"--those _camps_ or whatever, where they try and tell you that they can cure you; that who you are is _wrong_!"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Niall mumbled, turning away from Liam. But Liam wasn't having any of this; he kneeled down on the carpet in front of Niall, forcing their eyes to meet.

"You don't think that, do you?" He scrambled to grab Niall's hands and to keep them firmly in his grip, despite Niall's attempts to wrench them free. "Niall, you can't--"

"I can't what?!" Niall shouted, startling Liam. "I can't be confused? I can't be terrified of what I am? Not everyone knows from the get-go, Li, alright? Not all of us can--" Niall choked back a sob and Liam let go of one of his hands to grab the back of Niall's neck and pull him close, letting him cry against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Liam whispered as Niall cried. "I'm so, so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to--"

"Yeah, but you did," Niall muttered as he pulled back and away from Liam's touch. "And now I have to fix it."

"You don't have to do it alone," Liam tried desperately, reaching out for Niall again even though he continued to be pushed away. "Let me come with you, I'll--"

"You'll what?" Niall interrupted. "Make things better?" He laughed; a hollow sound that was so foreign coming from him that Liam immediately cringed. "You've done enough."

"Niall--"

"I think it's best that we don't see each other."

"You...what?" Liam could hardly stop his chin from wobbling, blinking furiously to keep his tears at bay. He couldn't believe the words coming out of Niall's mouth, he never would've expected him to say anything even remotely like this.

"S'all a mistake, innit?" Niall said as he looked down at his hands again, refusing to look Liam in the eye as he spoke. "Better off if we end it now."

"Niall," Liam whispered. "You don't--"

"It's time for you to go, Liam."

Liam stared at Niall, his mouth agape as he'd suddenly lost all of his words. He couldn't hold onto a single thought; they were all swirling around in his head in a mess of emotions and he just wanted it all to _stop_.

"Liam, leave me alone." Niall sighed. "Don't make me ask again."

Liam let out a shallow breath as his hands dropped to his sides before he slowly got to his feet. He stared down at Niall, who was still firmly avoiding Liam's gaze.

"Let--" Liam swallowed harshly to get his voice under control, willing it not to crack as he tried to get his sentence out. "Let Paul know when you've landed, yeah?"

Niall nodded as he unlocked the screen to his phone and started tapping away while Liam still stood next to him. Liam stood frozen for a moment before he managed to make his legs work and leave Niall's side, walking in a haze back to the gate where Paul was waiting.

He slumped down into a seat, ignoring the sympathetic look on Paul's face as he pocketed his phone. Liam knew at once that Niall had already filled him in on the situation, and as much as he wanted to beg Paul to go to him and try and convince him that it was the biggest mistake of their lives - that he could fix everything if Niall would just give him a chance - he kept his mouth shut.

If this was what Niall wanted, then Liam had to let it go.

He curled up as much as he could in the uncomfortable seat, closing his eyes tightly and concentrating on his rattling breaths so he wouldn't start crying. The last thing he needed was to break down in public in the airport, even if it was all he wanted to do.

Somehow, in less than twelve hours, Liam had gone from feeling like he was on top of the world to wishing it would swallow him up. He'd gone from having a boyfriend to a husband to nothing but a broken heart. And, as far as he was concerned, it was nobody's fault but his own.

*

Liam had never enjoyed long flights in the first place, but a ten-hour flight without Niall to distract him was downright _unbearable_. Paul was no help in the distraction department as he'd shut his eyes mere seconds after sitting down; his arms crossed and head tilted away from Liam as though Liam wasn't already aware that Paul was angry with him. Liam knew Paul would forgive him much faster than Niall would, so he wasn't entirely worried about it.

But when it came to Niall, well, Liam wasn't sure that he'd ever be forgiven.

No matter how hard Liam tried to make himself fall asleep, his mind kept replaying the last twelve hours and reminding him of just how badly he'd screwed everything up. Every time he thought of the few happy hours they'd had as newlyweds and a small smile nearly appeared on his face, almost immediately were those thoughts replaced by the memory of how upset Niall had been in the terminal.

Even if Niall eventually forgave him, Liam didn't think he'd ever fully forgive himself. He couldn't shake the awful feeling of dread that had settled low in his stomach. He tortured himself by thinking about how selfish he'd been before all of this, when he was hoping and wishing for the day that Niall would come out to his family. Liam wished he could go back in time and take it all back; tell Niall that he'd wait a million years if he had to, just as long as he could still have him in secret. Liam cursed himself for not being satisfied with how _incredible_ everything had been.

 _Whoever said 'it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all,'_ Liam thought to himself glumly, _was an absolute twat_.

By the time the plane touched down at Heathrow ten hours later, Liam felt as though he'd been awake for days. He kept his head down as much as possible as he and Paul trudged through the airport as quickly as they could, hardly saying a word until they reached their awaiting car.

"Liam," Paul said, grabbing Liam's elbow before he could slide into the car without so much as a single word. Liam turned, seeing Paul's face soften and he could only imagine how ragged his own face looked at that moment. "It's going to be alright."

Liam nodded as he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, willing himself not to start thinking about _everything_ again and burst into tears on the street. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around Paul's neck in a tight hug. He didn't expect Paul to return the gesture, but was relieved when he did.

"Let me know when--" Liam's voice cracked and Paul squeezed him tighter.

"I will. Go get some sleep."

Paul gently pushed Liam away and towards the car, offering a sad smile before he closed the door. Liam was grateful that he didn't have to speak again to give his address, he could just close his eyes and will his mind not to wonder if Niall had landed already.

*

If there had been any possibility of Liam not dwelling on what had happened once he'd arrived at his flat, it disappeared the moment he walked through the door. Even if it wasn't apparent to the naked eye, Liam could _feel_ Niall's presence in his flat.

Before they'd gone to Vegas for the festival, Niall had spent the days leading up to their flight with Liam in London and had practically taken over the flat as his own. Liam hadn't minded - why would he? - but now that things had changed so dramatically, it was nearly impossible not to see Niall in every inch of this flat.

One of Niall's jumpers was strewn across the back of Liam's couch, and Liam found himself drawn to it almost immediately. It was a normal jumper by all accounts - nothing particularly special or meaningful to either of them - but when his fingers brushed over the fabric, something inside Liam snapped. He clutched the jumper tightly, cradling it against his chest as he dipped his head forward to see if he could still smell Niall's cologne on it.

At once, tears began streaming down Liam's face. His hands started shaking, but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to loosen his grip on Niall's jumper.

He hadn't cried in the Las Vegas airport; he hadn't cried on the plane, nor had he let himself cry in Heathrow or on the way to his flat. Now that he was alone, in his flat with no one around, Liam could finally let himself cry.

Once the tears started, Liam found that he didn't have the strength to make them stop. He lost count of the hours he spent crying; the light that filled his apartment when he came in faded into dusk until he was bathed in darkness, still sobbing uncontrollably.

He finally pulled himself up from the floor - clinging to the back of the couch to hoist himself up, still gripping Niall's jumper tightly in his left hand - and slowly made his way towards his bedroom. He continued sniffling and let out tiny hiccups of sobs as he crawled under his covers, tucking Niall's jumper on top of the pillow under his head.

When Liam closed his eyes, even despite his best efforts he couldn't keep himself from picturing Niall. All he wanted was to reach out to the other side of the bed and feel Niall lying there; be able to pull Niall into his arms and bury his face in the crook of Niall's neck, breathing in his scent to calm himself down. He'd never realized how much he relied on Niall to be his rock, his guiding light in the storm of reality.

He wondered if Niall felt the same way about him - or if he had, rather. As much as Liam didn't want to believe that Niall could have, for all he knew, meant every word of what he'd said in the terminal. Liam hated the very thought that he'd never see Niall again, but he hadn't a single idea of how to make things better.

He fell into a restless sleep that night, his dreams filled with anxiety and hurt. When he awoke the following morning, he felt as though he hadn't slept a wink.

The days passed in succession, but Liam could hardly tell them apart. He distracted himself as best he could - keeping his phone off and avoiding his laptop in favor of movie marathons and finally watching several TV shows that he'd been told to watch ages ago.

Halfway through the fourth Harry Potter film - he'd already gone through all of his Marvel films as well as the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings before deciding he could watch them without bursting into tears thinking about Niall - a loud knock resounded at his front door. Liam paused the film and turned around on the couch to stare curiously at the door; he hadn't ordered anything for dinner yet so he knew it couldn't be anyone delivering takeaway.

He lifted himself off of his couch after the third round of knocks, making his way through the sea of empty containers he hadn't bothered to clean up towards the door. There, on the other side, was Sam with his fist poised at the ready to start knocking again.

"Oh, Liam," he mumbled softly as he took in the state of Liam's appearance.

Liam sniffed and rubbed his hand under his eyes, hoping to wipe any evidence of tear tracks and suddenly realizing how long it had been since he'd last shaved. He avoided Sam's gaze as he stepped back to let him through, slowly pushing the door closed behind him.

"How long have you been holed up?" Sam asked as he surveyed their surroundings; Liam's bags from Vegas were still in the entryway, though they'd been pushed out of the way. Liam shrugged his shoulders as he shuffled back into the other room to resume his position in a nest of blankets on the couch.

He remained silent as Sam started tidying up around him, picking up the takeaway boxes, half-empty mugs of tea, and frowning when he came across empty bottles of liquor. Liam unpaused his film and ignored Sam's presence, his bottom lip already starting to tremble at the mere thought of having to talk about his newfound hermit ways.

By the time Sam had cleared the room of clutter, Liam was watching Harry Potter cry over Cedric Diggory's dead body. Sam sat down next to Liam and slowly reached out to place his hand on Liam's shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look when Liam sniffed loudly.

"S'not fair," Liam mumbled. "All Cedric wanted was to be Hogwarts Champion."

"I know," Sam answered dutifully, even though he knew full well that Liam was deflecting and trying to distract him from the real reason he was here. Still, he remained quiet until the credits started rolling.

Neither of them made a move to switch the DVD over to the fifth film, and Liam braced himself for what was going to come next. Sam gently took the remote out of Liam's hands and turned off the screen before he turned to face Liam. Instinctively, Liam curled his arms tighter around the pillow he'd been hugging for the last hour.

"I tried calling," Sam said softly, "but your phone's been off for ages."

"Didn't want--" Liam paused when he felt his throat start to close up when he thought about the reason why he'd turned his phone off. He couldn't take the strain of hearing his phone go off time after time and it never being Niall on the other end of the line. Liam wasn't even sure where his phone was at this point, not that it really mattered since he was positive that if he turned it on there would still be no messages from Niall.

"You can't hide in here forever."

"I know that," Liam said before sniffing loudly. He reached up to rub his nose, letting the pillow he'd been holding fall forward onto his lap to reveal that he'd been cuddling Niall's jumper all along. Liam frowned as he looked down at it, curling the fabric in his fist as he avoided Sam's eye.

"I know you know that," Sam replied with a small smile. "I was just thinking that maybe you'd want to get out for a bit? Maybe eat something that's not takeaway?"

"I don't think--"

"Liam," Sam started with a soft sigh, "you can't--"

"Hide in here forever, I know, I know." Liam huffed. "But aren't I allowed to wallow for a bit? I did just get dumped."

"Liam, your boyfriend didn't dump you. You and your _husband_ had a fight, and he ran off to your in-laws. You can't let one fight ruin your whole marriage."

Liam loosened his grip on Niall's jumper enough to twist his hand so he could see the gold band on his finger. He hadn't had the heart to take it off, even though he'd thought about it numerous times.

"They do say the first year is always the hardest," Liam said with a light chuckle. Sam smiled a little wider and patted Liam on the back.

"That's the spirit. Now c'mon, go shower and I'll take you out to lunch."

"Alright," Liam replied with a huff. He was well aware that he probably smelled quite awful; he couldn't exactly remember the last time he'd had a proper shower.

If Liam was being honest with himself, if Sam hadn't shown up when he did it was entirely possible that he would've continued with his hermit ways for weeks to come. He felt a little foolish; cursing himself for falling so far down a hole of despair when all it took was one hand to help him back up again.

He wasn't over what had happened, not by a long shot. But just knowing that Sam was there to help him if he asked - even if he wasn't absolutely ready to discuss it just yet - made the darkness seem a little brighter.

*

"Perhaps you should've left your phone off a little while longer," Sam said with a chuckle as Liam's phone pinged yet again with what had to be the hundredth message in the last ten minutes. Liam shrugged, turning his phone face-down on the table between them as he returned his attention to the menu in his hands.

"I wonder how many voicemails Paul's left me," Liam replied. He actively did _not_ think about the fact that in all the texts and voicemails he'd already gone through, not one had been from Niall. He wasn't going to dwell on it; he wasn't going to fall back down the rabbit hole. "I have to say, I'm a little surprised you came to my door before he did."

"Maybe he's been busy, y'know, trying to hold down the fort, so to speak."

"Probably," Liam answered, his stomach flipping uncomfortably at the thought of the hell he'd probably put Paul through in the last week. "I should call him."

"Definitely," Sam agreed. "I'll put in your order for you."

"Thanks," Liam said as he got up, pointing to the sandwich he'd been eyeing for a while before he excused himself from the table so as to not be rude.

Paul answered on the second ring, just barely giving Liam enough time to step outside of the small cafe he and Sam had gone to.

"I swear, you had one more day before I sent the bloody cavalry!"

"Good to hear your voice, Paul." Liam laughed.

"Same to you." Paul sighed. "How're you holding up?"

"M'alright. Sam came by, made me shower and all that."

"Good, good." Paul sighed again and Liam already knew what was coming. "I hate to just dive into it like this, but--"

"S'alright." Liam took a deep breath. "What've you got?"

"The phone's been ringing off the bloody hook. Everyone wants an interview, y'know. S'not every day Liam "mild-mannered" Payne goes off on a bunch of paps."

"Can't avoid them forever, can I?"

"'Fraid not. But I can try and get it down to just one, if you'd like."

"I'd appreciate it, Paul. Thanks."

"Absolutely. I'll call you back with the details, yeah?"

"Yeah, thanks again." Liam paused for a moment before adding softly, "Paul?"

"Yeah, Liam?"

"Is he…" He took a deep breath again and let it out slowly. "Has he checked in with you?"

"Only when he landed," Paul replied sadly.

"Right." Liam sniffed, trying his best to mask it with a laugh. "Call me later, then?"

"Will do. Go have some fun, will you?"

"I'll try," Liam answered, a laugh coming a little easier this time around.

*

Paul ended up scheduling a phone interview with Radio One, and Liam was greatly relieved that he could record it in advance and not have to wake up in the middle of the night to get to the studio. He'd been interviewed by Nick Grimshaw several times before, enough that they could even be considered friends. In a way, he was grateful that Nick was the one who was getting his first interview after the (for lack of a better word) "incident"; he had a feeling that Nick wouldn't pry, at least not too much.

"So, Liam, seems as though you had quite a bit of fun in Vegas a few weeks back."

Liam laughed into his phone before replying, "yeah, s'pose I did."

"Well, I have to admit that I'm very upset that you're officially off the market - nobody even knew you'd been dating Niall!"

Liam bit his lip - just hearing his _name_ made his heart twinge - and he choked out a laugh that he hoped was more amused than pained.

"Guess you're not as good at your job as you thought, eh, Nick?"

"Oh, Liam, you tease!" Nick laughed. "Make it sound like I work for the Daily Mail or summat."

"Good thing you don't, they had it all wrong anyway." Nick laughed again and Liam settled back into the chair he was sitting in, hoping this was as invasive as the interview was going to get.

"So've you and your new hubby been holed away, celebrating as newlyweds do?"

Liam supposed he only had himself to blame for hoping the subject would've been dropped by now. After all, Paul had explained to him that he was to apologize for the way he'd acted in Vegas and he'd only been trying to keep his private life private. Liam had snorted at the idea, mainly because he'd been the one to out his relationship in the first place and he was still angry about being pestered by the paparazzi.

"That's what you'd expect, yeah?" Liam tried to keep his voice light, grateful that no one could see the deep frown on his face. "But after the mishap at the airport - which, I'd just like to say, I am sorry for. I didn't mean to go off like that."

"You had every right, in my opinion," Nick butted in. "Paps can be absolute nightmares at the best of times."

"You said it, not me." Liam chuckled. "But, umm, actually, we just--" Liam paused, pushing down the words that had been on the tip of his tongue and instead deciding to keep up appearances, "--thought it'd be better to keep a low profile, you know?

"Can't be easy on the two of you, I'm sure." Nick hummed sympathetically. "Just know we're all deliriously happy for you here at Radio One, aren't we?"

Liam smiled as Nick's producers all chimed in with their two cents; each one saying they were so happy for him and Niall.

"Thanks, everyone. It's lovely to have your support…"

"Oh, listen to this one!" Nick laughed. "So proper! Still, don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive you for keeping such a secret from me!"

"I'll be sure and tell Niall that you have to be the first to know everything that happens from now on, how's that?"

"Oh, now that paints a pretty picture in my head. Might have to let you go, Liam, lest I embarrass the both of us in front of the whole nation."

"Wouldn't be the first time for you, would it, Grimmy?" Liam teased.

"Nor the last, I'm sure." Nick laughed. "Liam Payne, everyone. Lovely to have you, as always."

"Thanks for having me," Liam replied, staying quiet as Nick continued with his transition into a commercial.

"Still there, Liam?" Nick asked once the call was no longer being recorded.

"Yeah, still here."

"How're you doing, really?" Nick's tone turned soft. "You seem a bit…"

"Off?" Liam supplied. "I was trying to keep it together, how'd I do?"

"Much better than I would, if I were you." Nick sighed softly. "I hate to admit, but I saw the footage of it and Niall--"

"Yeah, it-- it wasn't good." Liam sighed. "We haven't spoken in over a week."

"So sorry to hear that, Liam. But surely you've tried, yeah?"

"No," Liam admitted softly. "He told me not to call."

"Well, I'm afraid I'm not much help in the relationship department, shocking as that may be--" Nick paused with a laugh, "--but I can't imagine that he really meant it."

"You might be right." Liam let out a resigned sigh. "I just can't be sure."

"I--" Nick paused as a muffled voice caught his attention, "shit, I've got to go, but we'll talk soon, yeah? Go for a drink or something."

"Yeah, sounds good." Liam smiled. "Later, Nick."

"Bye, Liam. You'll figure something out, I know you will!"

After Liam hung up the phone, he sat still for a few minutes and let Nick's words sink in. He'd nearly called Niall a few times during the first day he spent alone in his flat, but every time he'd been close to pressing the call button he'd remind himself of what Niall had said in the airport.

" _Leave me alone, Liam. Don't make me ask again._ "

It was enough to break Liam's heart all over again; after replaying it in his head for the hundredth time, Liam turned off his phone. He'd closed that door in his mind, fooling himself into thinking that he'd never speak to Niall again.

But now that Liam's mind was clearer, he could let himself wonder. He thought about what he would say if given the chance; how he would apologize and beg for Niall to forgive him. Maybe he wouldn't beg, but rather plead for Niall to at least listen to what he had to say.

What _did_ he have to say? Even now, as he was thinking about it, Liam wasn't sure. He hadn't known over a week ago when he was fighting the urge to call, and now that he'd had enough time to properly think about everything he still didn't know.

Maybe it didn't matter, he thought to himself. Maybe all he really needed was to see Niall again, to be with him and everything would fall into place again. Maybe Niall wouldn't be as angry with him and he'd let Liam back in.

Before he quite knew what he was doing, Liam was dialing a number on his phone and waiting for the other end to pick up.

"Liam?"

"I think I need to go to Ireland."

"You think?" Sam laughed. "Mate, you should be on the next bloody plane."

"I should, right?" Liam laughed in return, already feeling slightly giddy and perhaps a touch hysterical. "It's not crazy?"

"Not at all," Sam replied. "Go get your husband back."

*

Surprisingly, for all the plans Liam managed to make in the few hours he had before he caught a flight to Dublin, the one thing he didn't think to do was to actually call Niall. Somehow he'd had enough forethought to call Paul to get Niall's parents' address, but completely neglected to call his _husband_ and tell him he was coming to see him.

Of course - as Liam sat in his tiny motel room staring at a map and trying to judge whether it was worth it to drive to the Horan house - he reasoned that if he had called Niall beforehand, he only would've been told not to come. That is, if Niall picked up at all.

With this in mind, Liam decided that he'd already taken the chance by coming to Mullingar, and he wasn't about to give up after coming this far. He wouldn't let Niall tell him no unless it was to his face (although he _really_ hoped it wouldn't come to that, Liam wasn't sure if he could take it again).

Gathering up the courage to knock on the front door of the Horan's house, on the other hand, proved to be a lot harder than Liam expected. He raised and lowered his hand about ten times, in addition to stepping on and off of the front steps about a hundred. Eventually, with a burst of confidence, he knocked on the door and held his breath.

The thing was, he'd met Niall's parents before. And they'd liked him, or so Liam thought.

They probably liked him far less now, given the unfortunate situation, but he tried not to dwell on that. He just hoped that they wouldn't slam the door in his face.

Judging by the look on Niall's dad's face when he opened the door and recognized Liam, he was about twenty seconds away from doing just that.

"Hi, Mr. Horan." Liam tried smiling, but the stone-cold look on Niall's dad's face made his skin crawl. "Is Niall here? May I come in?"

"No."

"N-No?" Liam blinked. "No, he's not or--"

"No to both." He crossed his arms. "Niall's not here, and you can't come in."

"Mr. Horan, I--"

"I don't know what you think you're doing, coming here like this."

"I-I don't--" Liam gulped. "I just--"

"First, you take our son away from us. Then you seduce him and make him like _you_ \--"

"Excuse me?" Liam sputtered, but Niall's dad didn't falter.

"And _then_ you two get married in bloody Las Vegas and then _flaunt_ your-- your--"

"Our what?" Liam demanded. "Our relationship?"

"Don't talk back to me, boy," he snapped, his face turning bright red from anger. His arms remained crossed over his chest, standing menacingly as he stared Liam down. "It's unnatural, what you've done."

"Unnatural?" Liam stared. He was suddenly struck with the memory of what Niall had said in the airport and he suddenly realized why Niall had been so adamant about having to _fix_ everything. "S'not unnatural! I love your son, just like you love your wife!"

"Don't talk about my wife!" He jabbed Liam in the chest roughly, sending him stumbling back a few steps. "You know nothing about my family!"

"I know--" Liam shook his head; he could hardly believe what he was hearing. He couldn't fathom how this man could've raised someone like Niall. "You know nothing about your family! Do you even know how hard it's been for Niall? Not being able to tell you--"

"If I'd known he'd turn out like this, I'd have never--"

"Like what? Gay?" Niall's father shook his head, his face cold and unforgiving.

"Don't use that word. He's just--"

"Just what? _Confused_? He's not bloody confused, he's gay! And there's nothing--"

"No!" he roared. "My son is not gay! And until he comes to his senses, he's--"

"He's what?" Liam's blood ran cold. "Where is Niall? What've you done with him?!"

"He's not welcome in this house!" Niall's father stepped back, gripping the door so tightly it was a wonder that the wood didn't crack under the pressure. "And neither are you!"

He slammed the door in Liam's face, and it took everything in him not to break it down and demand to know where Niall was. Liam could hardly breathe; his heart was pounding in his ears and he was shaking all over. All he could think about was finding out where Niall was and making sure he was okay.

The problem was, he had no idea where to go. He barely managed to get five feet away from the house before he stumbled on unsteady legs, wishing he knew what to do. He sat down on the sidewalk leading up to the front door of the house, cradling his head in his hands as he took several deep breaths. There was a voice in the back of his head screaming at him to call Niall, but he could hardly gather his composure long enough to find his phone let alone make an actual call.

Liam stiffened suddenly as he heard the door creak open again; he half-expected to turn around to see Niall's father coming at him with a baseball bat or something to that effect, but when he finally did turn he saw Niall's mother. As she approached him, Liam noticed the streaks of tears running down her face and how she seemed to be curling in on herself - almost as though she were afraid of what Liam might do.

"You're looking for Niall?" she asked softly. Liam nodded quickly and she let out a sharp breath, seemingly relieved by his response. "He's not here. He's with his brother."

"Greg?" Liam said hopefully, and she nodded in reply. "Where's he live?"

She gave him Greg's address, and only recoiled slightly when Liam suddenly got to his feet. Part of him wanted to hug her - to tell her that her husband's actions weren't her fault - but he fought the urge, thinking it best not to press his luck.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Tell him--" she began, pausing to compose herself and wipe her eyes. "Tell him I'm glad he's got someone who loves him."

"I will," Liam choked out, feeling tears of his own form in his eyes. She nodded once before she turned on her heel and practically ran back inside, shutting the door immediately behind her.

*

Liam was surprised to find that when he reached the front door of Greg's house he was able to knock on it without hesitating. Although when it swung open, Liam had to admit that seeing Greg's face switch from curiosity to distrust in mere seconds had his heart pounding all over again

"Hi Greg," he mumbled.

"Liam." Greg scoffed. "Fat lot of nerve you've got, showing up here."

"I need to see him."

"I've half a mind to knock you out, after what you've put him through." Greg's grip on the door tightened and Liam steeled himself, fully expecting Greg to follow through on his threat.

But when a few minutes passed and Greg still hadn't moved, Liam let out a deep breath and worked up the nerve to speak.

"I didn't mean to," he whispered. "I was just--"

"Just what?" Greg asked, staying calm but crossing his arms in the same way that his father had. Liam couldn't help but flinch when he remembered how they'd fought; he hoped that this would turn out differently.

"I was selfish," he admitted. "I wanted everyone to know that it was Niall who I'd married; that it's Niall I've been in love with for ages. I wasn't thinking straight."

Greg snorted. "Obviously." Liam rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

"I didn't mean to out him like that. I never wanted to ruin his relationship with your mum and dad, I--"

"Our mum and dad," Greg repeated with a derisive laugh. "They may as well be stuck in the dark ages, the way they think."

"So...you're not…?" Liam trailed off, not quite sure of what he was trying to ask. Greg gave him an odd look; staring at him strangely for a minute or two before he started to laugh.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," he muttered. "You went to see them, didn't you?"

Liam shrugged haphazardly in response, trying not to relive the events of the last hour in his mind. Greg shook his head, letting out a few stray chuckles before pressing his palm to his forehead.

"Would've paid to see you and me dad goin' at each other's throats." He shook his head again. "But _no_ , m'not like them. Niall's still my brother, no matter who he decides to…"

"Love?" Liam offered, and Greg snorted.

"Sure. Let's go with that." He smirked. "More delicate, like."

Liam squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and gritted his teeth; he was becoming slightly exasperated with the growing number of jokes at the expense of his sexuality. But on the other hand, he hoped that maybe Greg's ease with teasing him meant that things weren't as bad as he thought they were.

"So, is he in? I'd like--" Liam made a move to step into the house, but Greg held out his hand to stop him.

"Hang on, I haven't invited you in. There's still the matter of you breaking our Niall's heart."

"Breaking--" Liam's voice caught in his throat. "He told me he wanted to end it. He told me to leave him alone," he choked out.

"And it took you this bloody long to get here, like an absolute twat." Greg huffed out a short breath, and finally pushed the door open further and stepped aside to let Liam in.

Liam stared at him for a moment, completely bewildered by the sudden change. Greg rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers in front of Liam's face and gestured into the house.

"Get inside the fucking house already, would you?"

Liam snapped back to his senses and crossed the threshold as quick as he could, standing awkwardly in the foyer until Greg closed the door behind him. Greg took a few steps into the house before turning around to face Liam and gestured to the room beside them.

"Go sit, yeah? I'll get him."

Liam nodded, waiting for Greg to leave the hallway before he stepped into the other room. Greg took one step away from Liam, but then grunted softly and turned back.

"Nope, have to."

"Have--" Liam didn't manage to finish his thought before Greg took a swing at him, connecting his fist to Liam's cheek with surprising accuracy and they both swore loudly.

"Right," Greg grunted as he cradled his hand. "I feel better now."

"Glad to hear it," Liam grumbled as he clutched his face. Greg laughed before turning his back to Liam and calling out to his wife.

"Bring an icepack to the living room, yeah?"

"Why?" Denise called back.

"You'll see!" he yelled before he started climbing the stairs. Liam groaned, still clutching the side of his face as he shuffled into the living room and sat down on the sofa. A few minutes later, Denise came in with Theo on her hip and an icepack in hand.

"S'pose I should be surprised," she muttered as she handed it to Liam with an unimpressed look. "My brilliant husband did that?"

"He did warn me," Liam said, wincing as he put the icepack up to his face. "But I didn't think he was serious."

Denise shook her head as she hitched Theo further up onto her hip, smiling at his soft babbling. Liam's gaze fell to the small boy in her arms and he felt a twinge in his heart. He was so relieved that Niall had been in their company all this time; that he'd been able to have somewhere safe to recuperate.

"Leem," Theo said softly as he stretched out his hand towards Liam.

"That's right," Denise replied as she kissed Theo's temple. "That's Niall's Leem."

"Niall!" Theo repeated happily, and Liam sucked in a sharp breath. He could feel tears forming in his eyes, but he hoped Denise either didn't notice or assumed they were from his getting punched.

Greg and Niall's voices carried from the stairwell, and Liam steeled himself in preparation for seeing Niall for the first time in over a week. Denise gave him a sympathetic look before she turned towards the doorway, waiting for their arrival.

"--what'd you do to your hand?"

"Just c'mon, yeah?" Greg said as he and Niall entered the room. Niall's eyes fell on Denise and Theo first, and he looked confused until he spotted Liam behind them.

"What--"

"We'll leave you two alone," Denise said as she crossed the room, taking Greg by the arm and pulling him out of the room while Theo continued babbling as they went.

As soon as his family left the room, Niall looked away from Liam and curled his hands into fists at his sides. He let out one long, slow breath before abruptly turning his back on Liam and almost making it out of the room before Liam called out his name.

"Don't go," he added quickly as he stood up from the sofa. He put the icepack down on the side table and took a tentative step towards Niall, recoiling slightly when Niall rounded on him with a look he'd never seen before.

"What're you--" Niall cut himself off and took another deep breath before starting again. "I told you to leave me alone."

"I can't." Liam took a deep breath of his own and just managed to keep a sob from escaping. "I never wanted to."

"Not everything's about you!" Niall snapped. "Don't you get that? This whole bloody mess is your fault and here you are, playing the bloody martyr!"

"I know," Liam said as he took another step towards Niall. "I know, and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never--"

"But you did," Niall interrupted. "How-- I just--" Niall groaned in exasperation but put his hands up to keep Liam back when he tried to take another step forward. "Don't."

"Sorry," Liam repeated as he stuffed his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from reaching out to Niall again.

Niall sighed and shook his head. "How many times did I tell you that my family wasn't like yours?" he asked softly.

"A lot," Liam answered in a quiet voice. Part of him knew it was a rhetorical question, but he couldn't stop himself from speaking.

"If you'd heard the things my dad said when--" Niall trailed off, shaking his head again as he let out a dark laugh. "You never would've even bothered."

"That's not true," Liam insisted. "It's not your fault that your dad can't see past his own fears to see you for who you are. I tried to explain to him that--"

"Wait, what?" Niall interrupted with a confused stare. "You talked to my dad?"

"I-I thought you'd be there." Liam felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "I didn't think you'd answer if I called, so I went there first."

"And...talked to my dad."

"More like...argued?" He gave Niall a sheepish look. "There was a lot of yelling...and he--"

"He what?" Niall's eyes flickered to the spot where Greg had punched him. "Did he…?"

"No," Liam said quickly, surprising himself by laughing. "Greg did that."

Niall blinked, his eyes falling to the floor before a low chuckle escaped his lips. "Not surprised." He hesitantly looked back up at Liam and his face softened from the hard stare he'd been sporting for the last ten minutes. "M'glad my dad didn't hit you."

"Think he wanted to," Liam admitted. "He did push me a bit, but I think he was more scared of me than I was of him."

Niall's eyes dropped to the floor again and he rubbed at the back of his neck, clearing his throat but staying silent. Liam knew this was his chance; he had to try and fix what he'd broken.

"I'm sorry for what I did, but I'm not sorry for what I said." Niall looked up, Liam was sure he was ready to start yelling at him again so he quickly continued. "Your family needed to know, Niall. Despite what they might think, you're still you. You're still their son."

"You had no right--"

"I know that," Liam said, trying to placate Niall's anger. "I know, and I'm sorry. But would you really have been able to keep this up forever? Aren't you the least bit glad it's out in the open now, even though it happened this way?"

"You don't understand." Niall shook his head.

"Maybe not," Liam said with a heavy sigh. "But I wish I did. I wish you'd let me come with you that day. I wish you'd let me be by your side when you confronted your parents; I wanted to be there to hold you and let you know that no matter what, it was all going to be okay. I'll never forgive myself for letting you go that day. I should've fought for you. That's why I'm here now: I'm here to fight for my husband."

Niall inhaled sharply, cutting off a cry at the source by clapping his hand over his mouth and turning away from Liam. His shoulders quivered and Liam couldn't hold back any further; he quickly crossed the short distance between them and wrapped his arms around Niall, burying his face against Niall's neck and holding onto him tightly.

"Don't," Niall choked out, barely a whisper and lacking any conviction. He didn't try and push Liam away, instead he clung to Liam's arms and tried to pull them tighter around him.

"Your mum told me to tell you something," he murmured softly in Niall's ear.

"What?" Niall whispered back. Liam pressed a kiss to the skin below Niall's ear, closing his eyes as he listened to Niall's shallow breaths.

"She told me to tell you she's glad you've got someone who loves you."

Niall's body shook as he let out a sob, too overwhelmed to hold it back any longer as he forcefully turned in Liam's arms and wrapped his own around Liam's neck. Liam clung to him just as desperately as Niall did to him, murmuring soft words of encouragement as Niall cried into his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while, locked in each other's embrace; Niall continued to cry against Liam until he was out of tears and breath, and Liam didn't mind one bit that his shirt was completely soaked.

"Sorry," Niall croaked out as he wiped his eyes, pulling back just enough that he could look at Liam properly.

"Don't be," Liam replied as he pressed his forehead against Niall's. "I love you, tears and all."

Niall laughed and wrapped his arms around Liam's neck again, softly brushing his nose against Liam's while keeping their foreheads together.

"I love you too," Niall whispered. Liam smiled widely, tilting his head so he could bring their lips together.

"No more running away, yeah?" he mumbled when Niall pulled back.

"Yeah," Niall repeated softly.

"I'm your family now, and you're mine."

Niall cracked a smile and leaned in to kiss Liam again.

"You're stuck with me, _husband_."

*

**One Year Later**

"You nervous?"

Liam laughed. "No, why would I be nervous?"

"Dunno." Sam shrugged. "You're getting married. Albeit, _again_ , but still. Aren't grooms supposed to be nervous?"

"Dunno, probably." Liam laughed again. "Maybe I got all my nerves out last time."

"Like you even remember last time," Sam replied.

"S'why we're doing it again!" Liam turned around when the door behind them opened and Paul stuck his head in and gestured for the pair of them to come towards him.

"It's time."

"Go on, then," Sam said as he gave Liam a light shove. "Go get your husband."

"Gladly," Liam replied with a grin.

*

No matter how many times Niall had whined about waiting a whole _year_ to have a proper wedding, Liam hadn't budged on the matter. He'd insisted that they had to keep their anniversary the same, and therefore they _had_ to wait. It may have also had quite a bit to do with the fact that he wanted to make sure everything was absolutely perfect for their real wedding, but he wasn't going to admit that aloud. Liam hadn't minded taking over the bulk of the plans, even when Niall would only help in the form of suggesting they have it at a brewery or a winery - "anywhere with lots of booze, Li, it'll be grand!" - because he knew it would all be worth it.

And in the first moment where Niall and Liam met each other's eyes during the ceremony, Liam knew immediately that every minute of every day leading up to this was completely worth it.

"Told you," he murmured to Niall later that night when they were swaying in each other's arms. Niall chuckled lightly and tucked his head under Liam's chin as they listened to the sound of Sam singing.

He'd insisted on singing "The Way You Look Tonight" at their wedding, because he knew it was Niall's favorite Frank Sinatra song. Liam had tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary for him to get up and sing, but he'd finally relented.

"If you don't agree, I'll just get pissed and steal a microphone and do it anyway."

So really, Liam had no choice in the matter.

"This was perfect," Niall whispered softly as he gently kissed Liam's birthmark. "Best wedding ever."

"Best _second_ wedding ever. Our first was pretty great."

"You don't even remember it," Niall teased.

"I do too. You're the one who was proper drunk. Could barely say 'I do'."

"Liar. I was the picture of sobriety, I was."

"Of course you were," Liam replied fondly as he kissed Niall's forehead. "Always are."

"Fucking right." Niall chuckled haughtily and Liam smiled against his skin. They continued swaying back and forth for the remainder of the song, lingering on the floor after Sam had finished. Liam was about to suggest they go sit back down when out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone enter the room who made him tighten his grip on Niall.

"Look," he mumbled to Niall softly as he nudged him. Niall gave him a curious look before he turned in the direction Liam was looking, going stiff when he recognized his mother.

"But…"

"I know you said they wouldn't come, but I thought they should at least be invited," Liam said quietly. "Are you mad?"

Niall shook his head and pressed his lips against Liam's in a firm kiss. Liam couldn't help but laugh a little, breaking the kiss and making Niall laugh as well.

"I love you." Liam smiled widely.

"Love you too. Now go see your mum."

"You're coming too," Niall said as he linked their hands together tightly and tugged Liam off the dance floor.

Niall's mum looked nervous but happy as they approached, and Liam quickly let go of Niall's hand to better allow him to pull her into a hug. Liam didn't expect to be pulled into the hug as well, but he welcomed it with open arms.

"Told myself I wouldn't cry," she said with a watery laugh after they'd all pulled back. Niall slipped his hand back into Liam's and squeezed it tightly and Liam felt his heart swell with fondness.

"We're so glad you came," Liam said as he smiled at her.

"Would've been here for the ceremony," she said with a sigh, "but I was still trying to get your dad to come."

Liam squeezed Niall's hand, smiling at him when he curled into Liam's side. Niall's mom smiled warmly at the pair of them and held her hand over her heart.

"I told him it was his loss. I'm so proud of you two."

"Thanks, Mum." Niall hugged her again, still keeping a tight hold on Liam's hand.

"Quit fussin' over me," she said as she gently pushed Niall away. "It's your wedding, I should be fussin' over you."

"C'mon, Greg's over this way," Liam said as he led the two of them across the hall to where Greg and Denise were entertaining Theo at one of the tables.

Niall pulled Liam away once his mum was distracted, pulling him into a tight hug that nearly knocked the wind out of Liam.

"Thank you," Niall murmured as he clung to Liam. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," Liam replied as he held Niall tightly. "Promise."

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://imlouisaf.tumblr.com)
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> *please note that I intentionally did not refer to Niall's parents by their names because I absolutely do not want anyone to think that I see Bobby Horan and Maura Gallagher as the characters I've created. one day I'll write a fic where Niall has wonderful, supportive, loving parents just like he does in real life.


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